Questions of Love
by brightspark
Summary: Squall has some questions about love after being dumped by Rinoa, Seifer tries to help him out. SeiferxSquall, pure sap, a little Rinoa bashing and some small tinges of angst.


This fic was cowritten, once again, by me and iliyana, whose stuff is well worth reading, of course. We did this as a roleplay - she played Squall, I played Seifer and Rinoa. I then typed it up into a fic, the results of which are here.

This is one of our few non smutty creations, and is pretty much call-a-dentist sappy. Rinoa was... somewhat bashed, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't get her to act mature. So blame the voices in my head, not me.

**Questions of Love**

_Seifer POV_

Squall aims a swing at my side, taking a step forward to keep himself balanced, but the strike is pathetic; I catch it on my blade all too easily. Something is bugging him, taking away all his attention, and pathetic as it is, I'm jealous of whatever is so important to him. Sue me for being selfish, but the times when Squall is my sparring partner I want him to pay attention to _me_ and only me.

I try to gain more of his attention by upping the intensity of our fight, stepping up the pace as I swing Hyperion up and towards his head. He goes down on one knee to duck, too slowly, swinging Lionheart up in one of his favourite moves as he gets up. Shit, he really is preoccupied. There's no point in this fight.

I block his blade and raise an eyebrow at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," he says, frowning slightly, striking again, and aiming at my chest this time. The swing is no more likely to hit than any of his others, and I snort softly.

"And why I don't I believe you, prettyboy?"

"I don't know. Don't care, either." The last is added rather pettishly as he swings his gunblade down at my legs. I step back to avoid the attack, oddly pissed off at his avoidance of my question. There's obviously something wrong, so why can't he just share it? Get it off his chest, so to speak?

"Come on, Leonhart; give me credit for knowing you at least a little." I roll my eyes at him, hating that he's so unfocused. During these times, he should be _mine_, damn it. "You don't act like this unless there's something wrong."

"The only thing wrong is you not fighting back here," he offers, glaring at me, Lionheart swinging up towards my neck. Too slow, too easy. What _is_ wrong with him?

"There _is_ something wrong and you _will_ tell me, because I don't like it when my sparring partner isn't fighting as well as he should be." I block his slashes easily, narrowing my eyes at him and trying to force him into saying something. I should probably be more worried about why I care so much about him, but I've known for a while that I have some kind of feelings for him and I just view this as an extension of those. If someone has hurt him, I should kick their ass.

He steps away from me, his look still disinterested as he attaches Lionheart to his belt. "Fine, if you won't fight, I'll find monsters that will."

I reach out and stop him, putting a hand on his shoulder, frowning a little. I don't want him getting his ass kicked by monsters – I might slow down a little to accommodate his angsting, but they damn well won't. "Hey, I know I'm not as important as Rin or Quistis or even the little bouncy thing are to you, but I still want to know what's wrong."

"I'm _fine_," he says insistently, pushing my hand away from him.

"Right. Sure. Whatever." I roll my eyes, getting angry with him, and annoyed with myself, too, for getting annoyed with him. This is just his standard avoidance tactic and I shouldn't be letting it get to me. "Just, next time we spar, get your ass out of bed on the right side." I turn to go, but he speaks before I leave, his voice soft.

"Rinoa left."

When I turn back to face him, I find him looking down at the ground, looking for all the world like something has died. So _Rinoa_ hurt him. It's a damn pity she's a girl and I can't go kick her ass for hurting someone like Squall. "I'm sorry, should've kept my mouth shut."

Squall shrugs half heartedly, his eyes still on the ground, refusing to look at me. "She left just last night, you didn't know." I find myself moving towards him, wanting to comfort him, but there's nothing I can do or say that I can think of that won't just piss him off or make it worse. Finally, he looks up, not quite meeting my eyes but looking past me. "She said she didn't love me after all."

I put my hand on his shoulder and this time he doesn't push it away instantly. "Some people just aren't worth it," I tell him. Regardless of the fact that I'm probably one of those assholes who really isn't worth the trouble or possible heartbreak.

"I thought she was."

"It's hard to tell until someone has already fucked you over." I squeeze his shoulder gently, not quite sure what to do. It's one thing to want to comfort him and quite another to have actually got him to speak to me.

He shakes his head slightly, "At first… after the war, she said she loved me and now… Can you just take it back like that?"

"It's not fair, but people do it. Hell, I've done it to people. Love is… feelings are really hard to be sure of, I guess." And there I go, applying the whole situation to myself as well as to him. I never claimed I have a small ego. I search for something comforting to say, but all I can come up with is the old standby, "She probably didn't mean to hurt you."

"Then why did she leave?" he asks, sighing softly, "And if it's so hard to be sure of how do I know if I'm really in love with her? How does anybody know?"

Damn him. Damn these vague sorts of feelings for him that make me jealous when he says that he loves her. "Because it was easier for her that way? I don't know, Squall. Guess you have to trust your feelings."

"So you should just do what's easier?" He looks thoughtful for a moment, but then comes another question. He's surprisingly talkative, but then, he always is, when something bothers him. I heard about his little outburst about not wanting to be talked about in the past tense. "How can I trust something that might just change the next day?"

"Maybe not just do what's easier; it depends on how you feel." I shrug and finally realise that my hand is still on his shoulder. I drop my hand quickly and continue. "When you're really in love with someone it won't just change. I guess." Just like my vague feelings for Squall don't change, over several years, some part of me says.

"So basically, you'll only know if you love someone if the feeling doesn't change, which means you should wait before getting into any relationships, but since it's easier to do things right away, it's better to just leave someone when you decide you don't love them anymore?" He shakes his head. "This doesn't make sense."

I have to laugh quietly at the picture he makes trying to figure out the nonsensicalness of love. "I don't think love does."

He looks up, suddenly meeting my eyes properly. "Have you ever been in love?"

If this were some crappy love story, my heart would temporarily stop beating when he asks that. Needless to say, it doesn't really, but I have to force myself to be nonchalant as I shrug. "Yeah."

"And you just knew that it was love?" He shakes his head again, muttering, "This is giving me a headache."

"Don't think too much about it." I resist the urge to tell him that it isn't that simple, that I have feelings for someone but sometimes they feel like love, and sometimes they feel like just friendship, and that sometimes, sometimes I almost hate the person for being so… so himself.

"Can't think of much else," he says with a shrug, looking away again.

"Right." I smile slightly, changing the subject, "You mentioned something about monsters who will fight you, want to go and find some of those with me? It'd stop you thinking and asking me awkward questions, at least." And it'd stop me worrying about him not focusing enough in a battle and getting himself killed.

He snorts softly, "Sure," he pauses, turning towards the tangled jungle of the training centre, and then adds, "thank you."

"No problem, prettyboy." I shrug slightly and head off into the training centre, assuming that he'll follow me.

----

Since he got dumped, Squall has been hanging around me a lot more. Not that I mind, I enjoy his company and especially when he bothers to open his mouth and talk, we can have some good conversations. And even when he can't be bothered, there's no harm in talking to such a good looking thing doing a good impression of a wall.

Unfortunately, because I was the one to try and answer his questions that day, I'm the target for all his questions now.

"So..." he says, leaning back in his seat a little, "I've been thinking about it some more and I figured maybe love just isn't worth it? People just end up hurt and alone most of the time."

I snort quietly, "Though I told you not to keep thinking about it." I pause, trying to find an answer he'll accept, though not wanting to just come out with some flippant answer that would make this easier. Squall at least deserves some time spent thinking before I spit out answers. "Some people think it's worth it."

"I can't help it," he shrugs. "And what makes being hurt worth it?"

"The times it works out, I guess."

"So what if you think it's working out, but then it's suddenly over? What reason is there to try again?" He leans forward again, putting his elbows on his knees and leaning his head into his hands. I sigh quietly, thinking it over again.

"I don't know. Do what makes you happy, I guess. Even when you are in love, or have been, or whatever, you don't always know the answers to that." Just like I don't know the answers, and I'm in love with Squall himself. While being his number one advisor on the topic of love. It just proves that the world is a very messed up and sadistic place.

"And if you don't know if it was really love or not? And what if what makes you happy is not being hurt again, but being alone would make you unhappy? Not that this is the case with me, but…"

I give myself a minute to try and figure out what he's saying, and then shake my head, sighing. I wish I could help him more, but I really can't give him the answers. One question brings up a dozen more when he's alone and thinks about it. "Squall, I really don't know the answers."

He sighs and rubs at his temples for a second, looking tired, "Does anyone or do I get to look for the answers till I die?"

"Might be easier if you stop looking."

"And do what? Whatever life I had is pretty much a mess."

I roll my eyes, wishing I could tell him how self pitying he's being, how unlike the man I fell in love with this insecure, talkative Squall is. But I still love him, as far as I can tell, whether he speaks openly to me or not. He was probably this angsty back then, too. "Life goes on, go with it."

"What if I'm fine right here by myself? Maybe I don't have all the answers now, but I don't have to care about them either as long as it's just me."

"Do what makes you happy." I shrug again.

"What makes you happy?" he asks, out of the blue.

I think for a second, and then snort softly. "Ignoring the feelings as much as I can, since I'm sure the person I love doesn't love me back."

"So denying yourself love makes you happy?" He tilts his head slightly, giving me a curious look, and I curse myself for giving him more material for questions. "And who do you love? Never mind if it's none of my business."

"Probably makes me happier than I'll be when he figures it out."

He raises an eyebrow, "He? You love a guy?"

"Yeah. Didn't expect that, I take it?" I raise an eyebrow as well. Shit, I hope this doesn't bother him. I'm already regretting telling him anything about this.

"No… just, no, I didn't expect it." He shrugs slightly, "Never really thought of the possibility, I guess."

I laugh quietly, leaning back and deciding that maybe I'm out of danger of him reacting badly. "Certainly adds more complications to the whole thing at times."

"Why? Is it ever more complicated if you're… gay?"

"Bisexual, in my case," I tell him, trying not to openly remind him of the fact I dated Rinoa. Mentioning her would probably be a bad idea. "You get the fun of working out if the other person swings that way or not."

He snorts softly, "Oh, right. Selphie once insisted that everybody is bisexual, just that most people repress it."

I just have to shrug at that. I don't know whether him saying it should be reassuring or not, because he doesn't necessarily believe it. But since he said it, maybe he does. "Maybe she's right, I'm no psychologist."

He returns to the earlier subject, not of bisexuality in general but of my own love for a guy. "But you don't think he swings that way, so you're happy on your own. Is that it?"

"Right. If he does swing that way, though, I'll tell him how I feel."

He bites his lip for a second, thinking, and I brace myself for it. I think I know what's coming, so it's no surprise when he asks, "How can you know if someone swings _that_ way, if you don't talk to them about it?"

"I don't, but he's generally confused about love and all that at the moment anyway..." I wonder if he's dense enough not to realise now that it's him, but there's still no comprehension on his face, no indication one way or another. Damn it, Squall, you'd better be dense and not playing games on me, or fuck, I'll… fuck, I don't know what I'll do.

"Oh," he nods slightly and snorts, "Incessant annoying seems to do the trick. Selphie used that on Irvine and, well, Rinoa did it to me..."

I snort softly, trying again to get the message through to him. Maybe I just like flirting with danger, though I can't believe he's being so slow about this. "He's a little dense not to have noticed me annoying him for so long, I think, though perhaps it's not the best form of annoying to get someone to think about a relationship…"

"I don't know... I admit I haven't thought about it much, but I don't think Zell is gay." He shrugs, leaning back in his seat again. "Sorry."

Fuck, he really is clueless. I give him a blank look for a moment, and then I have to laugh. And definitely correct his ideas about this. "Not Zell, Squally-boy. Though he has a nice ass." I lean closer to him, almost as if I'm confiding a secret in him, "It's you I love, but like I said, I don't think you swing that way and I certainly don't think you want any kind of relationship."

The look on his face is priceless. He blinks, slowly, not moving, and then comes up with the ever intelligent, "Oh."

"Yes, 'oh' just about covers it." I stand up, deciding to give him some time on his own to think about it and find some gentle way to tell me he's really not interested. I even manage to keep a faint smirk on my face. "Not telling you might've been the easy way out, but it was better than you avoiding and ignoring me as you no doubt will."

He frowns and grabs my wrist, pulling me back down into my seat. "Why would I avoid or ignore you? I don't know if I swing any way, and I don't know if I want a relationship, I don't know anything of what I want, but I don't see a point to doing either of those things."

There's only one thing I can think of to say in response to that, snorting softly, "You would've done both before the war."

He shrugs, "This isn't before the war."

"True," I sit down properly, leaning back a bit, but I can't settle down. Now he knows how I feel for him, but I have no idea where I stand with him. It's a weird feeling and if I was the type of person to run away, I'd have bolted already. But he doesn't want to avoid or ignore me, so I won't avoid or ignore him.

"Did you love me before the war?" he asks, but then shakes his head, "Never mind, forget about it, I don't care. How do I even know you're not going to change your mind about it tomorrow?

"Heck if I know," I say, answering both of his questions simultaneously. There's always been feelings for him, but to call them love would be assuming. Maybe it was just attraction, at first, developing into love as I got to know him better… "You'd have to trust in the fact that I'm damn sure I'll feel the same tomorrow."

He looks more confused than ever, standing up, "How do I know if I can trust you?"

I shrug. "I guess by how sincere I've been with you before and with other people. Which means, I guess, that you probably shouldn't trust me, since I've been an ass to most people."

"I didn't mean that, I…" he sighs deeply, and then just says, simply enough, "I need to think."

"Sure, go ahead." I stand up again, sighing softly and deciding that I regret telling him. It's only going to make him think and come up with more questions and try to answer them himself and probably conclude that I'm an asshole and not worth the time or energy. "Look, I don't want anything from you. Except what we've always had anyway. So don't think _too_ much."

"I'll try." He looks up at me, "Thank you for… for telling me." He puts a hand to my shoulder for just a second, an agonising second where my brain decides to tell me simultaneously that his touch is reassurance and that I have a chance and that his touch is comfort and that I don't. He turns and walks away anyway, and I watch him go before grabbing Hyperion and heading off to the training centre to get in some good old not-thinking time with the grats.

----

I've been spending too much time with the fucking grats. Mindless slice, slice, slice, hack, splatter of guts and grat blood. This is disgusting, by the way, in case their outer appearance hadn't already suggested it. Sometime between one monster and the next, Squall comes up behind me, unnoticed until he speaks my name. "Seifer."

I turn to face him, lowering Hyperion, and smile slightly at him, for lack of any better reaction. "Hey."

"We need to talk."

He motions for me to follow him and then heads right out of the training centre, obviously not feeling like having the grats or the T-rexaurs, which I swear have been holding out on me when I really needed a bit more of a challenge, butting in on our little heart to heart. With a sigh, I follow him, attaching Hyperion to my belt until I can put it down safely somewhere. He walks all the way to a more secluded corner of the quad, not saying a word or even looking back at me. I don't bother to say anything, leaving it to him to say whatever he feels he needs to say.

He sits down on one of the benches and looks up at me. "I've been thinking about what you said and…. I don't know. The only things I know for sure is that I'm not… freaked out and that I don't know whether I want a relationship or if I'm even capable of having one."

"More than I expected, anyway." I put Hyperion down and sit next to him, shrugging slightly, wondering whether he brought me here just to tell me he still isn't sure, despite thinking about it, what he really thinks of the fact that I'm in love with him.

"I like you," he says, surprising me, "I know that too, you've helped me a lot the last few days, I just don't know whether I love you or if I just like you." He bites his lip and focuses on the ground between his feet. I give him a moment more, but then curiosity wins out.

"Like me in what way?"

He shakes his head, "I don't _know_, that's the entire point."

I take a deep breath, deciding to take a little leap of faith. Just a little one. After all, he likes me, at least. I really don't want to push him into thinking anything, but then, when has he ever let something I said change what he wants to do? "Then… why don't you just… I don't know, try it?"

He tugs at his shirt, and I recognise it as a move purely to keep his hands occupied. His voice is very soft and he sounds almost vulnerable as he asks, "Then what if I get hurt again?"

"I don't want to hurt you, but…" I shrug, putting a hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to turn and face me, look at me. "I don't want to promise I won't and then break my promise, either, because however much I try not to I could hurt you without wanting to."

He looks up at me, looking a little lost, even more vulnerable. "So… you wouldn't hurt me because you want to take the easy way?"

I snort quietly, trying to reassure him, seeing that this is my chance and I have to prove myself to him somehow. "I don't take shortcuts like that. If there was a problem, I'd try to work it out, I don't know, fix it somehow."

"And if I decided that this isn't love after all?"

You'd break my heart, Squally-boy, but that's the way things go. "I'd be hurt, I'd let you go, and I'd… hope that we could still be friends." Yeah, right. Still be friends with the only person I ever really loved, _really_ loved rather than a stupid teenage infatuation, but who broke my heart? I think that'd be impossible. Not that I wouldn't try.

"We could…" He closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, "You didn't want anything from me, except for what we already had?"

I nod, wondering where that line of thought is taking us, "Right."

He nods. "So if I said I was willing to try and maybe…" He opens his eyes now, meeting mine and giving me a curious, almost hopeful look, "…add to what we have?"

I suppress a chuckle at the way he, eventually, managed to say it, and lean forward, leaning our foreheads together, wanting to kiss him but not wanting to push it that far, not yet. "I'd be glad."

"What makes you happy?" he almost whispers, lightly putting one hand on my cheek.

"Well, this is doing a good job of it, I'd say," I say, smiling slightly, leaning a little into his touch. So gentle, as if he's afraid I'll pull away, even though he knows I love him. Damn Rinoa. He should know that I want him more than most things. I won't be cliché and say that I want him more than anything, though that's close to the truth.

"Oh," he says, still softly, moving a little closer to me, leaning in almost shyly and kissing me. His touch is soft, tentative, and I kiss back equally lightly, glad that he took that first step just then. He pulls away too soon, after only a few seconds, and for a vague second I'm worried that kissing a guy has freaked him out or something, but he just leans his forehead against mine again.

"And that made me even happier," I tell him, smirking a little, putting a hand on his shoulder again and caressing the side of his neck with my thumb. He closes his eyes, craning his neck a little and smiling, after a moment leaning his head on my shoulder. I wrap an arm around him loosely, kissing his temple lightly, and wondering what I did today to be so lucky.

----

I suppose it's stupid to be jealous of Rinoa, but Squall did think he loved her at one point, and I suppose he told her so. I just get 'maybe' and 'I think' and other uncertainties. Still, that doesn't excuse the hot rush of anger and jealousy when I walk into his office and she's there. I give her a blank and somewhat pissed off look, and she just looks back at me, looking confused and blinking a little.

"Seifer, could you… leave? Me and Squall are having a private conversation here!"

I look to Squall, who immediately says, "No, Seifer can stay." He looks tired, as always, and confused. Fucking Rinoa, can't she take a hint? She hurt him; can't she stay away from him? He gives me a tiny smile anyway, running a hand through his hair. I resist the urge to snap the bitch's neck, finding a chair and taking it round to Squall's side of the desk, turning it so I can lean my chin against the back while facing the clueless girl.

"Squall, why… but this is a _private_ conversation, why are you letting him stay?"

"Seifer has…" He gestures at me, and his fingertips brush my shoulder, confirming what I think. She's back, trying to get her prince Squally, her true love, back. Right. Whatever. "He has a right to hear whatever you want to say," he finishes.

She gives us both a dubious look, and I can't believe she doesn't get it yet. She leans forward, looking only at Squall, fixing him with those puppy dog eyes all men are supposed to find irresistible. Whatever, to quote Squall himself. "I made a mistake and I'm sorry," she tells him.

"You…" He shifts in his chair, taking a deep breath, and I give her a look that doubtless she doesn't understand, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently. I have no idea how what she's saying will affect Squall or my relationship with him, and it makes me angry. Angry and jealous, because she still makes him hesitate over it. "You said you loved me, and then claimed you didn't, and now you say you made a mistake?"

"Yes, I… I missed you, when I left," she says, softly, clasping her hands in front of her and looking down at the floor.

Squall looks down at his feet as well, closing his eyes and squeezing my hand tightly, almost painfully. "I miss you too, but…"

"What I wanted to say is… well, I missed you, and I've thought about it, and I did love you, and, well, can we -"

Squall's grip tightens even more on my hand, and I cut into what Rinoa is saying, not wanting her to finish. Because damn it, Squall is mine, even if he isn't sure whether he loves me. "Squall…"

He loosens his grip immediately, looking up at Rinoa as I sit back and try to reassure myself that no matter what me or Rinoa says he'll do whatever he wants anyway. "Rinoa, I… I thought about it too and I'm not sure if I love you, if I ever loved you."

"Squall… how do you know that?" She gives him a vaguely pleading look, complete with the puppy dog eyes, but I'm not sure that'll work on him anymore. "I'm the only one you've been with…"

I have to snort at that, unable to keep quiet, and Squall shakes his head, smiling slightly and taking my hand in his again. "You're not, not anymore."

She narrows her eyes slightly, not getting it, or getting it and not wanting to believe it, whichever. I'd believe either of her. "Who…?"

"Shit, Rin, I knew you were a bit dumb, but I didn't think you were terminally stupid. Do we need to announce it with fireworks and all that crap now?" I roll my eyes, and I can see Squall trying not to laugh at what I've said, even as he sighs. Laugh, Squall, don't sigh.

"You… and Seifer?"

He confirms it; biting his lip in what I've noticed is his latest nervous habit. "Yes."

I smirk at Rinoa, moving closer to Squall and hoping that this means he's going to tell her where to shove it. She hurt him, after all. She speaks softly, sounding a little bit hurt, not that I give a damn. "Then… there's no chance of us…"

He tangles his fingers with mine, meeting her gaze still. "No, no chance."

"Then… I'll go, then."

I nearly sigh with relief, rolling my eyes at her stupidity. "Good idea, Rin. Shut the door after you go out."

"Goodbye, Rinoa," Squall says quietly, smiling at her. He's not angry with her, stupid idiot, just disappointed and maybe a little sad. Stupid idiot, she hurt him and he's just forgiven her? Good thing I _won't_ forgive her for hurting him and confusing him, or next time I looked around she'd be our best friend or something.

She shuts the door with a bit of a bang, almost slamming it like the petulant princess she is, and I hear her running off down the corridor before I turn to Squall, getting the chair out of the way. "At least she shut the door. You okay?"

He sighs softly, standing up, "Yes, I'm fine."

I get up as well, pulling him close and wrapping my arms around him. He probably needs it, some kind of contact from me anyway, and I know I do. I was worried that he would get back with Rinoa. I guess that was stupid but… when you have something precious, you're always afraid to lose it, right? Especially if it belonged to someone else before it belonged to you. Or if you're not sure it _really_ belongs to you.

He lays his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes and loosely wrapping his arms around my waist. "I'm not sure what I feel for her now, it's not the same as before, but still…"

I kiss his temple lightly, smiling just a little, "I was worried…"

"About what?" He frowns a little, putting a hand on my arm and looking up at me.

"That… you'd get back with her, I guess."

"No, I wouldn't, I… I wouldn't leave you unless I was absolutely sure I didn't love you, it wouldn't be fair, otherwise," he says, biting his lip a little, and I laugh softly, pulling him closer and kissing him lightly. Of course he wouldn't leave me, because that would be what Rinoa did, and I already said I'm not taking the easy way out. No doubt he's refusing to do the same. He'd better not stick with me for ages and then tell me he's sure he _doesn't_ love me, though.

"Should've known that."

He kisses me back, speaking quietly as ever, "But I think I might be in love with you…"

I brush some of his hair out of his face, nodding. He thinks he's in love with me, but 'think' and 'might' just aren't enough for me. Still, I'll take what I can get for now. "I _know_ I'm in love with you," I tell him, and he smiles and cups my cheek, pulling me down for another kiss. He's almost needy, in a way, damn Rinoa. It's probably at least partly her fault. "You do believe me when I say I love you, don't you?"

"Yeah, I believe you."

He closes his eyes again as I run a hand through his hair. "Good. I wouldn't lie to you about something like that. Hell, I wouldn't lie to you at all."

"Thank you for that," he says, leaning up to kiss me again.

"Just making sure you know."

He pulls away slightly, taking my hands in his. "I know."

----

**Epilogue**

Squall buries his face in my shoulder, tangling our legs together, smiling slightly and looking happy. I have to smile as well, holding him tightly and running a hand through his hair, closing my eyes as well. We've been together a while now, and even though he still hasn't said that he's sure he loves me, I'm pretty sure that he does, whether he knows it or not. Or at least he cares for me deeply, and that's enough for me.

He pulls away slightly, nuzzling at my jaw and sighing softly. After a moment he speaks, breaking the silence and moving a little to look at my face. "I love you."

I hum contentedly, and then I open my eyes, realising he just confirmed my thoughts as if reading my mind. And he didn't say 'I think' or 'maybe' or any of that uncertainty. Just 'I love you'. "You're… sure about that now?"

He nods slightly, smiling, no doubt amused by my surprise. "I'm sure. It's like you said, I just know."

"Love you too." I have to laugh quietly at the idea that he's followed my advice and kept my thoughts on it in his mind, moving closer to him to kiss him. This is what I wanted, but even I am surprised at how happy it makes me to hear him say it properly. He closes his eyes again, apparently enjoying the moment, and I pull back a bit, running my thumb over his cheekbone. "Never thought you'd be sure about it, after all that over thinking you did."

He shrugs slightly, turning his head and moving to kiss my thumb. "I still don't know what love is, I just know… I love you."

I laugh softly, again. I trust Squall not to change his mind. Now that he's said it, unless I'm an ass to him, I know he's certain about it, that he won't change his mind. I don't think he would have said it if he was still at all uncertain. "Well, that's good enough for me."

He leans his forehead against mine again, and I wrap my arms tightly around him as he tucks his head under my chin and presses close. "So where do we go from here?"

"Wherever we want to?"

"Sounds good to me," he says, a little muffled against my body, and I close my eyes, still smiling, and run my fingertips up along his spine, holding him close. And unlike Rinoa, there's not a chance in hell that I'm ever letting him go.


End file.
